Filling up the Arena: Thoughts on Accessibility, Visibility, and Taylor Swift

My muscles have had a mind of their own these last couple weeks during my squat workout, so I went online to find some videos of exercises or stretches I could add to my routine, and a few things stood out to me during that search: 

The language surrounding exercise and disability has shifted from “fixing” a muscle to “improving” a muscle, and that is a huge win. As a kid in Physical Therapy, I often felt like exercises were presented as a way to fix whatever muscle wasn’t working properly, and I get it, exercises are created in order to change muscles. But, when I look at the titles of these newer exercise programs, they use phrases like “improving hip mobility” and “maximizing function.” That change in language emphasizes exercise as a means of maintaining health versus fixing an impairment, which does so much for a person’s sense of bodily autonomy. 

The increase in accessibility of exercises to empower people with disabilities is a welcome change from when I was younger, but the documented presence of people actually using these exercises outside of a therapy office is pretty slim. In my search for athletes with Cerebral Palsy, I found two videos of people powerlifting. I think there are a lot of factors that contribute to why there are so few videos, but here is part of my current perspective and how I'm working to change it: 

I rarely take videos of myself during squat workouts because squats feel like they highlight my constant battle with certain muscles of my body; I tell my hips to stay under the bar, they shift right. I tell my knee to stay over my toes and it caves in like it’s actively defying me. Sometimes, it feels like recording this battle is inviting people to see me lose, and I’m far too stubborn to let that happen. But, what if at some point in the future, another powerlifter with Cerebral Palsy, or any other disability, is looking for ways to make him/herself stronger and only finds the same two videos that I see now? If that’s the case, I might as well start singing AntiHero alongsideTaylor Swift [I’m the problem, it’s me]. When I watch videos of other people powerlifting, I’m not critiquing whether their hips are under the bar or their knees are in optimal position; I’m admiring how hard they are working to earn their strength because I know the process. If I’d like to see more visibility for people with disabilities, especially in the gym, I have to start getting comfortable with being more visible myself.