Belonging

"“You belong in every place.” -Maya Angelou 

 Before starting this blog, I shared a Facebook post that I thought was fitting to revisit as I reflect on the powerlifting meet from this weekend. In this post, I described how my Cerebral Palsy sometimes makes me feel as though I’m stuck in limbo. Growing up, I was strong enough to make it through a workout, but not coordinated enough to make a basket or score a goal. Because I was never part of a team sport, I didn’t experience the exhaustion that comes from tough practices or the pride that comes with seeing results. The toughest thing though, was my struggle to find a sense of belonging because I felt like I straddled this invisible line between able-bodied and handicapped, and that line felt like an island with a population of one. 

 In the weeks leading up to the meet, I had anxiety about nearly every aspect of the event. The night before though, I thought about something pretty simple --if my brother-in-law is coming from out of town to watch me in the meet, what time should I tell him to come? I didn’t know the schedule for the day other than it would start at 9 am. Since I was only competing in one event instead of all three, I texted my friend Krystal and asked what time she thought I might start. When she suggested a time, I reminded her that, unlike everyone else who was participating in three events, I was only competing in one. Her response was, “it’s one platform.” 

 In that moment, and many others, Krystal was as wise as Maya Angelou; I was competing with everyone else--occupying the same space, following the same rules, feeling the same mix of doubt and confidence I imagine everyone else felt. At that moment, I remembered just how many “teams” I now belong to since I started this thing--the team at F3, the Powerbuff Girls, and a team of powerlifters. I belong in each of those places.